The Stigma Behind the Clutter: 7 Myths About Hoarding

If you’ve watched television in the last few years, you’ve likely come across a reality show about hoarding. Rather than truly educating the public on the condition, reality TV tends to dramatize the issue, spread misinformation, and increase stigma.

Hoarding reality shows can be misleading, as they often showcase only the most extreme cases of hoarding. Hoarding is a broad term that covers a vast range of circumstances. For example, a person with a hoarding problem may have difficulty getting rid of possessions but still have far less clutter than the individuals seen on TV.

An estimated 15 million people in the United States experience hoarding issues. Hoarding is a serious condition that can have devastating physical, emotional, social, financial, and legal effects on the individual and surrounding loved ones.

It’s time to bust the stigma and tell the truth. Here are seven common myths about hoarding.

1. Hoarding Is Just Another Name for OCD

Hoarding is a complex mental condition characterized by collecting too many items, an inability to let go of possessions, and trouble with organization. Until recently, hoarding was considered by mental health professionals as a form of obsessive compulsion (OCD).

While hoarding seems to be related to OCD, a vast percentage of individuals with hoarding problems do not exhibit other OCD symptoms. Even though some experts consider it a sub-type of OCD, typical treatment plans have not been shown to be effective at treating the symptoms of hoarding.

2. Hoarding Is the Same Thing as Being Disorganized

While being disorganized can be a problem itself, it is not as severe as hoarding. The major difference between someone who is hoarding and someone who is messy is hoarding can make it difficult for the person to function. People may accumulate so many items they can no longer sit on the sofa or use the stove. A person who hoards is often unable to get rid of such items even when they are no longer useful or they interfere with daily living. A messy person is usually able to let things go when necessary.

Hoarding is far more serious than being disorganized. Compulsive hoarding can affect a person’s ability to maintain relationships, keep a job, and take care of personal and household needs.

3. Cleaning Will Immediately Solve the Problem

Simply attempting to clean up a cluttered space without addressing the underlying issue typically fails to solve the problem. People may spend hours of time and thousands of dollars to clean out a space only to have the person relapse and start accumulating more stuff in just a few months.

Those whose homes are cleaned out without their permission also may experience extreme distress, complicating the issue. To completely stop hoarding, a holistic treatment plan may be more effective.

4. Hoarders Are Lazy, Dirty, and Unmotivated

Stereotyping people with a hoarding condition as dirty or lazy is an unfair stigma. People who hoard may have cognitive deficits in the brain, impairing their ability to make decisions as well as to keep things organized. Studies have also shown there may be a genetic component to hoarding problems.

Assuming a person who hoards is also dirty adds to the stigma surrounding a hoarding condition. The term hoarding most often refers to the accumulation of objects and clutter rather than dirt. It is common for a person who hoards to keep a clean house despite the clutter.

Hoarding is also common after a major loss when a person is unable to cope with grief in a healthy way. People who hoard are not lazy; they are just less capable than the average person at carrying out tasks and making decisions. Rather than being stigmatized, what people with a hoarding condition really need from others is compassion, empathy, and support.

5. Hoarders Are Collectors

Hoarding and collecting are two different things. Collectors tend to keep their items organized and proudly on display for others to see. People who hoard will rarely display their possessions, usually keeping their belongings in complete disarray. They often feel embarrassment and shame when others see their mess.

Hoarding also differs from collecting because it often prevents normal usage of the home. For example, a person’s kitchen appliances may no longer be accessible as a result of clutter.

6. Hoarders Can’t Stop Hoarding

Though it can be difficult for an affected person to stop hoarding, compulsive hoarding can be treated. Medication has not been shown to be effective against hoarding, though it may help alleviate some of the symptoms associated with it such as depression and anxiety.

Long-term therapy can effectively treat hoarding when combined with adequate education and support. Hoarding generally requires a holistic and comprehensive treatment program that addresses all aspects of a person’s life.

7. Hoarding Can Be Treated by a Single Medical Professional

Hoarding is a multi-faceted issue and typically requires a team of professionals to effectively treat the problem. Some professionals that may be involved in the treatment process include psychiatrists, therapists, counselors, professional organizers, building inspectors, and landlords, among others. These teams are often referred to as task forces, and approximately 75 cities currently have them in place to help those in the community who are struggling with hoarding.

If you or a loved one are struggling with hoarding problems, it may be helpful to talk to a therapist or other mental health professional who specializes in hoarding.

References:

1. Baker, J., Bergren, M. G., Frost, J., Sanchez, L., Andreasen, T., & Bratiotis, C. (2014). Beyond the Sensationalism: Professional Responses to Hoarding Disorder in the Omaha Community. Retrieved from http://www.unomaha.edu/news/2014/04/hoardingwhitepaper.pdf
2. Bratiotis, C., Otte, S., et. al. (2014) Hoarding Fact Sheet. International OCD Foundation. Retrieved from https://iocdf.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/Hoarding-Fact-Sheet.pdf
3. Dailey, S. G. (2013, February) Hoarding: A Complex Issue Needing Community Support. Age Wise: King County. Retrieved from http://www.agewisekingcounty.org/en/125/1/449/Hoarding-A-Complex-Issue-Needing-Community-Support.htm
4. Samuels, J., Shugart, Y., et al. (2007, March). Significant linkage to compulsive hoarding on chromosome 14 in families with obsessive-compulsive disorder: results from the OCD Collaborative Genetics Study. American Journal of Psychiatry, 164(3): 493-9. Retrieved from http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/17329475
5. Treneva, R. (2005, August 3). Hoarding: Myths and Misconceptions. Insight Bulletin. Retrieved from http://insightbulletin.com/hoarding-myths-and-misconceptions/
6. Webley, K. (2010, April 26). Hoarding: How Collecting Stuff Can Destroy Your Life. Retrieved from http://content.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,1984444,00.html

© Copyright 2016 by www.GoodTherapy.org Ann Arbor Bureau - All Rights Reserved.

Originally posted on GoodTherapy.org

Love vs. Lust: Are Sex and Love the Same Thing?

It is love or is it lust? Many have asked this question at some point, struggling to make a distinction between the two. According to recent science, the answer lies in the eyes.

“The eyes are the windows to the soul” is a popular phrase, and science has revealed the truth of this poetic line. Researchers have found eye movement alone can distinguish the feelings of love from lust.

Love or Lust: The Eyes Tell All

During a study by University of Chicago researchers, participants’ eye patterns were monitored while looking at a stranger’s photo. According to the results, a person who sees someone as a potential romantic partner would look at the person’s face, whereas a person who is feeling lust or sexual desire is more likely to look at the person’s body.

Other scientific studies have shown the brain regions involved in feelings of love are different from those involved in feelings of lust. Eye movement data proved different eye movements occur when a person views a photo of romantic love, such as a picture of a couple holding hands, versus a photo of an attractive person.

The Neurophysiology of Love and Lust

Though love and lust are interrelated, they are coordinated by different emotional systems and neural processes in the brain. Lust is ruled by the sex drive, which is processed in the endocrine and reproductive system, driven by testosterone and estrogen.

Physical attraction plays a role in feelings of lust and falling in love. Attraction is driven by the reproductive instinct and is subject to hormonal reactions as well as the release of neurotransmitters such as dopamine and norepinephrine.

After someone has fallen in passionate love, the initial excitement and passion may fade over time as the dopamine levels associated with novelty begin to level out. At this point, the love may grow into companionate love. This type of love is associated with bonding hormones, such as oxytocin and vasopressin.

Distinguishing Between Lust and Love

Although science indicates love and lust are distinct even on a physiological and neurological level, it may not make distinguishing between the two any easier for those under the charms of lust and romantic love. Differentiating between the two can be a challenge, as the feelings often occur simultaneously and both have the ability to cloud judgment. So how can you tell the difference?

Lust is purely physical attraction. It is an altered state of consciousness biologically driven by the instinct to procreate. It can be incredibly powerful and can at times surpass logic and reason. Lust is initiated by pheromones, chemicals secreted in sweat that reveal information about genetics and influence behavior. When you experience physical attraction and sexual desire for another, it is the result of bodily awareness of a good genetic match for creating offspring. Lust knows nothing about long-term compatibility or companionship.

Love is also an attraction, but it goes beyond a physiological impulse. Love is not immediate; rather, it grows over time. When you meet someone you fall in love with, it may start out as lust and grow into infatuation, which is what we commonly associate with romantic love.

When you become infatuated with another, you may begin to see through rose-colored glasses, putting the person on a pedestal and ignoring any flaws. Infatuation can become obsessive, leading someone to experience the “can’t eat, can’t sleep” phenomenon often associated with falling in love.

Scientific studies have shown the brain in love looks a lot like the brain on cocaine, with high dopamine levels and lowered serotonin. Eventually, the exciting feelings fade as the novelty of the relationship wears off and you are no longer under the lover’s haze. It is often at this stage when people begin to see their partner clearly without projections, and flaws start to become apparent. Lovers either realize they are not compatible and part shortly after infatuation fades or they commit to the relationship and develop companionate love for one another.

Lust and infatuation require little commitment or effort, whereas love generally requires a high degree of both. A successful loving relationship requires honesty, communication, compassion, respect, and trust. Love is most often built on a strong mutual foundation. Love usually involves personal sacrifice. When you’re in love, you shift from “me-thinking” to “we-thinking.” It is the willingness to consider another’s well-being in the same way you would your own.

References:

1. Blair, L. (2010, July 14). Mistaking lust for love. The Guardian. Retrieved from http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2010/jul/14/mistaking-lust-for-love
2. Fisher, H. E. (2000, January 1). Brains do it: Lust, Attraction, and Attachment. The Dana Foundation.Retrieved from http://www.dana.org/Cerebrum/Default.aspx?id=39351
3. Ingmire, J. (2014, July 17). Eye movements reveal difference between love and lust. UChicago News. Retrieved from http://news.uchicago.edu/article/2014/07/17/eye-movements-reveal-difference-between-love-and-lust
4. Lahat, I. (2014, July 9). The Brain Looks the Same When We’re in Love or High on Cocaine. Business Insider. Retrieved from http://www.businessinsider.com/the-brain-looks-the-same-high-on-love-or-cocaine-2014-7

© Copyright 2016 by www.GoodTherapy.org Pasadena Bureau - All Rights Reserved.

Originally posted on GoodTherapy.org

Getting Back Up: 3 Keys to Becoming More Resilient

The concept of resiliency, or the ability to bounce back after a stressor or hardship, has been popping up a lot lately in articles and studies about how to be happier. But although it sounds like a buzzword, resilience is more than just a trendy idea—it’s a key factor in how we cope with the world. Over and over in trauma studies, it’s been shown that not only can people recover from brutal circumstances, they can thrive from them. It turns out what matters is not how hard or how often we fall, but whether we’re willing to get back up.

The fall we’re recovering from can range from serious trauma, such as war, to common struggles such as relationship breakups. And sometimes crises are like a trampoline: the farther down you fall, the higher you can bounce back up. In Supersurvivors, authors David B. Feldman and Lee Daniel Kravetz list people who have lived through ordeals and gone on to extraordinary accomplishments, such as man who ran a triathlon within a year of being struck by a drunk driver and losing his leg. 

Although it’s tempting to think only exceptional people have a talent for bouncing back, it’s within all of us. As humans, we have a natural tendency toward healing. When we cut a finger, our body immediately sends platelets to clot the blood and white blood cells to fight infection. Similarly, when we go through a traumatic experience, the brain immediately begins to look for ways to make sense of it and feel better. We don’t have to be “super” survivors to be good at growing from struggle. We can just tune in to our innate predisposition for well-being, and cultivate it.

So how do we become more resilient? There are a few key conditions that help this strength grow. The first is faith. To be able to withstand something bad happening and not feel devastated and frozen by it, we have to believe in something positive. Sometimes this faith is religious, but it doesn’t have to be. My brilliant mentor talks about feeling a confidence in “a friendly future,” or a general optimistic belief that things will work out.

Feldman and Kravetz don’t adhere to the idea of optimism, which they state is not always helpful after a crisis in which it’s obvious things won’t simply work out well. Instead, they assert the concept of “grounded hope,” which combines positivity with realism. We don’t just wake up from overwhelming loss and sprinkle sunshine on it, Pollyanna-style. Instead, we can gradually learn to accept that bad things happen, come to terms with the unfairness of life, and THEN move forward, often with new skills such as better coping techniques, more frustration tolerance, and increased compassion for other people in tough circumstances. 

It turns out the majority of trauma survivors recover and recuperate. I’ve heard from people who were abused for years, conscripted into cults, or who lost not just their spouses but also their children in wars. Despite the horrors they endured—struggles I look at and wonder if I could live through—most of them pick themselves back up. They start new families. They find things to laugh about. And many of them say the same thing: “What other choice do I have?” They somehow found the strength and faith to continue forward movement, instead of giving in permanently to grief.

Another condition of resiliency is to combine thinking about it with not thinking about it. To progress from something takes both leaning in and feeling the difficult feelings from it, as well as leaning away and distracting from it. I call it “touch and release.” When anxiety or sadness or overwhelm come up, we spend a little time “touching” them, or acknowledging and experiencing them, despite how painful this can be. Then we let them go, momentarily, by focusing on things that are more pleasant or calming. What we choose to distract ourselves with can be sensory, such as a warm bath or massage, or active, such as a walk in the park or a workout. It can be large (a trip to Australia) or small (Jamoca Almond Fudge). The important thing is to find what soothes you, and practice it regularly.

A final important factor is relationships. Over and over, in research and in life experience, it has been shown that human connectedness promotes healing. Isolating ourselves, a common urge when we’re feeling lousy, and not talking things out is a quick path toward fear and pain.

Connection works best if it goes both ways—we take support from friends and family, then we give back to our community. Find activities that increase your feeling of being meaningful in the world and help you stay attached to the larger world. Volunteer activities, reaching out to others who are struggling in support groups, and nonprofit work can make us feel useful. In addition, they perform the sweet alchemy of turning emotion into empathy: I understand your pain because I’ve felt mine so acutely.

So go ahead, fall off the bike. You don’t have to learn a great lesson from it, and you don’t have to use your experience to become the greatest bike rider who ever lived. Sometimes it’s enough to just get back on the bike and pedal onward.

Reference:

Feldman, D. B., & Kravetz, L. D. (2015). Supersurvivors: The Surprising Link Between Suffering and Success. New York, NY: Harper Wave.

Originally posted on GoodTherapy.org